sterling-elizabeth arcadia

maybe this time ill win

—after nat raum

maybe this time ill stay awake til the end. ill see the sunset & only go to sleep long after youve left

maybe this time my hair will grow red & long enough to my shoulders. ill spot a bird & sway back & forth in the wind when the weather gets bad. poems will flow from my hand that make sense both to me & my friends, & my friends will flock to me like birds

maybe this time my consumption will outweigh my need. my mugshot will go viral & wave by wave, like the ocean eats the coast, my celebrity will surpass my person. ill become a cyborg made up of public adoration and precious metals – the kind of singularity that only exists in a tech bros wet dreams. singlehandedly i will keep the economy from crashing. keep the flying cities afloat

or, maybe, this time ill win

maybe this time ill leave first

____

statement of homage

nat raum is an incredible artist and writer who I had the good luck of connecting with via Twitter. raum’s work has helped me question the boundary between poetry and memoir in my own work and prompted a return to my interiority after spending a long time writing mostly about other people. Though I know them primarily as a poet, my poem was inspired by a mood board style collection of photos and the accompanying caption, which serves as my poem’s title and refrain, they posted on Instagram.

nat raum

(Bio from their website)

nat raum (b. 1996) is a queer disabled artist and writer from baltimore, md. they graduated from maryland institute college of art in 2018 with a bfa in photography and book arts and they are currently a first-year mfa candidate in creative writing & publishing arts at the university of baltimore, where they also serve as the managing editor for the school’s literary journal, welter.

____

“birthday week BEGINS”

 —after Sam Herschel Wein

with a bang & a mustard beret

i will shimmy my way to saturday

where i can sit down

be 23 & finally

have learned how to love myself

but until then

this floral blazer will do

these sequin gold sneakers

& the second pair i bought

to give myself on saturday

will distract you

from the details of my dance

& insulate my fragile toes

my maroon calf socks

are a do-si-do sacrifice

to the cold

& jk rowling

& thats why i moved to chicago

so i could cover my skin

blow my nose

& show off my moves

my curves

my many years of growth

& how hot it is inside

jackets off

happy birthday

____

Statement of Homage

This poem was born from a photo Sam posted on their Instagram story during their birthday a few years ago. The photo and the text that accompanied it (which I use as my poem’s title) inspired this little birthday fantasy. I’m constantly amazed and inspired at the joy and play and queerness Sam brings into their poems, and I tried to capture a little of it here.

Sam Herschel Wein

(Bio from their website)

Sam Herschel Wein is a lollygagging plum of a poet who specializes in perpetual frolicking. They are an MFA candidate in poetry at the University of Tennessee-Knoxville. Their first chapbook, Fruit Mansion (Split Lip Press, 2017) was selected as the winner of the 2016 Turnbuckle Chapbook prize. Their second chapbook, GESUNDHEIT!, a collaboration with Chen Chen, is part of the 2019-2020 Glass Poetry Press series. He co-founded and edits the poetry journal Underblong. Recent poems can be found in Shenandoah, Sundog Lit, and The Adroit Journal, among others. They can be found in the cheese aisle of most stores, in the middle of a hug, or editing poems at your local coffee shop.

____

halfway home

—for Jaida Jones

i want to visit you in brooklyn & maybe try something new

from  that place where we got dolsot & sat at a little hi-top behind the kitchen

id like to see a hummingbird              on a roof

with you & speak in verse

to eachother              tongue

to tongue        a little race between mouths

youll win obviously        but after

id be down to tattoo you         & look at that

they/them on your arm

i only know the names of birds right now

so youll need to reintroduce me             to each of your cats

& if i can id also love     to meet your wife

we may all need her in the coming months

when the moths on her skin          become the only light

____

Statement of Homage

I met Jaida Jones through the tattoo artist we both see (and love), Lillin Karin, when we both sent them poems after their art at the same time. Jones leads their life with so much love for other creatures, both human and feline, and it opens up new possibilities for what queer love means for me. I’m glad to know and love them, and I wrote this poem to tell them so.

Jaida Jones

Jaida Jones lives in Brooklyn with many cats and their wife and co-author, Dani Bennet. In addition to a volume of poetry, Cinquefoil (under the name Hannah Jones), Jaida has written and published several novels with Bennet, the latest of which is Master of One.

____